TED Talks

Grown men don't cry

I don't know what led me to this talk. It was sometime ago that I had picked up Paul Kalanithi's book When Breath Becomes Air.

In this talk, his wife Lucy reflects on how the two of them got together, their life, the calls they took as he lay dying, what it is like for her now that he is gone, and why did they decide to have a child even as he was dying. I must admit to feeling a lump in my throat as I heard her speak.

A lot many people find the idea of death very difficult to deal with -- they want to turn the other way. But it is something I think I have wrapped my head around. I came very close to dying seven years ago. Nobody thought I'd make it past the portal I had gotten into. I don't remember all of what happened then. But I certainly do know what happened as dad died a little over a year ago, and all the thoughts that went through my mind. 

One line though kept going through my mind. Grown men don't cry. So even as dad was dying, I sat and wrote that out why, Grown men don't cry.

And I'd signed off with the lines of that song that prompted it all, 

I’m sittin’ here with my kids and my wife
And everything that I hold dear in my life
We say grace and thank the LordGot so much to be thankful for
Then it’s up the stairs and off to bed and my little girl says “I haven’t had my story yet.” 
And everything weighin’ on my mind disappears just like that
When she lifts her head off her pillow and says, “I Love You Dad” 
I don’t know why they say grown men don’t cry
I don’t know why they say grown men don’t cry